I Do Not Exist....

There are simply to many online journals

2006-02-27T17:10:28Z

I wish that only interesting people with atleast semi-decent writing skills were allowed to have online journals..
Well..them and me of course.
It would make finding something worth reading in order to ward off boredom so much easier.

Comment to Entry-2fer

2005-07-15T10:12:04Z

I've come to believe that the louder a citizen screams, the harder it is to hear them. Simple physics? distortion perhaps, blah bahl balah blahah bleh.
To be heard in the world we live in today you must be rich-famous-beautiful-ignorant-gay-Kabbalah-islamic-angry and black-miffed and asian-bloody-hated. What is the secret, all or none?
The masses should form a commitee, elect a monarchy, dictator, tyrant and be given a few fingers of time to rest.
Friendship, family, government- its all a sham.
I for one am sick of indulging the madness.

Cockroach Brunch

2005-05-25T14:52:01Z

I have decided..that an even worse way to die than via drowning..would be to have your face eaten off by cockroaches..
How long could one live with the upper layer of their face EATEN OFF by cockroaches?
I would guess the infection that sets in would be the actual cause of death rather than the meal taking itself..tho shock could be a factor.
Would it tickle at first? Would the first few bites only sting slightly?
Imagine the burning pain as your slid your own palm against your ravaged flesh in an attempt to wipe them off...would you scream? or be to afraid of them getting into your mouth?
Maybe it would occur to you, that setting your head of fire would be a good thing to do..

Bricks and mortar..bricks and mortar..

2005-05-24T05:05:02Z

I sometimes..alot lately actually..feel like there are two of me. The one you see, and the one I am.
The one you see spends all day laying brick upon brick into mortar, building the walls of a round room. The one I am, is inside that room, screaming and clawing at the brick. Scraping at the still soft mortar with a stick ,desperately trying to break through the wall. The me you see is beginning to lose. Because the wall I'm building is getting bigger and bigger as I bulid around and around. While the me inside is just barreling straight though.
What is going to happen when the current half finished wall collapses?

My bestest friend in all the land..

2005-05-06T06:40:34Z

hangmanstree

Jack

2005-05-06T06:33:52Z

Sprat

Thank a soldier

2005-05-06T06:13:43Z

WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?

My Fellow Americans:
As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has been completed.

Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is now complete.

This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American
forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now to begin the reckoning.

Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries
which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short.
The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some of the countries listed there.

The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the
world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war.

The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.

Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.

In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.

Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe
China.

To Israel and the Palestinian Authority. Yo, boys. Work out a peace deal now. Just note that Camp David is closed. Maybe all of you can go to Russia for negotiations. They have some great palaces there. Big tables, too. I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.

I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious
Benzes, Beamers, and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York

A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change.

Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put em? Yep, border security. So start doing something with your oil.

Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA
treaty - starting now.

We are tired of the one-way highway.

It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, "darn tootin."

Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the
world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate homelessness in America. It is time to eliminate World Cup Soccer from America. To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you and we won't forget.

To the nations on List 2, a final thought. Drop dead.

God bless America.
Thank you and good night.

If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English,
thank a soldier.

Acknowledgement

2005-05-05T11:24:08Z

If there is at least one person in your life whom you consider a close friend, and whom you would not have met without the internet, post this sentence in your journal.

Big Bird is in rehab.

2005-05-02T04:26:02Z

I just heard "the crack alley behind sesame street." I can't get the image of Big Bird getting his cock (bird ref:) sucked while taking a hit off the ole bic.
Laugh with me.

Will I ever know?

2005-04-26T23:44:32Z

Why have these russian chicks put me on their friends list? WHY?
WILL I EVER KNOW?
I added two of them to my friends list..in order to thwart their attempts at world domination.. I've been waiting for something...but um.
What the hell are they always babbling about? I've tried translators.. useless damn things.. bleh
Explain thyselves Russian federation chicks!
Ok..I'll be here, still waiting.

Look look like love lovell lucky lush

2005-03-23T10:01:32Z

L words bring power to those that take the time to type them.
T words bring power as well when wenches write worthless whimsical works
W words bring power for french firemen funding fury for freedom\
F words bring... bleh..do you get it yet?
stupid fucking mooks..sheesh

Okay..

2004-09-15T15:09:00Z

So I like my house..I don't mind my marriage..much.
But I desperately want out of Michigan.
I like the weather,enjoy the parks, and love the lakes in winter.
The people here are wearing me down. They are the rudest most insular fucks I've ever come across.
Michiganders are so throughly convinced that they are better than all other humans, it would be amusing if it were not so seriously psychotic.
I am not like these people.
I don't think going to Toledo makes you well traveled.
Visiting Canada does not make you cultured.
I don't care if you are president of a Fortune 500 company or an unemployed kitchen worker..so why do you?
Westside, Eastside..its all the same to me. Please stop talking about it.
I am indifferent to the Red Wings, please stop talking about them.
I do NOT think "up north" is the end all see all of American real estate. Please stop talking about it.
Your hand is not a map.
I say soda, not pop. GET OVER IT.
I hold no animosity towards Ohio. Please stop talking about it.
Living in a place, does not make you from a place. Stop assuming.
I think everyone in Michigan should look up the definition of chaldean, and stop being so fucking stupid.
FIX YOUR FUCKING ROADS.
Driving a nice car does not make you a nice person.
The big three can kiss my ample ass.

Take a deep breath..

2004-09-15T14:23:19Z

I want out-
Of michigan
my marriage
my house
my life

The whole Pink thing..

2004-03-24T05:53:13Z

Rather tirersome eh? Tireerersome? treesome? TIRERERIERSome?
Pink sucks

Pinkness..

2004-01-21T21:36:17Z

Ink is in Pink...
Inky Pink..

um yea

2004-01-21T21:10:38Z

hummmm

Mr Death Returns

2002-06-04T14:51:52Z

My Grandfather is dead.
I now have one grandparent left..
A passionless old bitch who I fear will live forever.
Why do the good ones always go first...
Evil Lingers...

Super Duck

2002-06-04T14:47:31Z

I'm having a very alone day..
Have you ever been surrounded by people, and felt totally alone?
Sometimes I think the people in my life are ghosts.. always broadcasting and never receiving...
Swirling about me in some mad dance for equality of notice.
Perhaps I am the ghost.

Life has so changed

2002-04-12T20:26:24Z

Home schooling, dial up, sunshine and worms.
Life is ...continuing..

Blogger is dead

2002-03-23T04:25:53Z

So..here I am..back in my trusty yet dusty Journal..
I was sent an e-mail telling me that uncle bob is an idiot.
I would just like to say.. UNCLE BOB LOVES YOU ANYWAY!

amatory @ 2002-03-11T11:36:00

2002-03-11T16:42:50Z

The ground will shake and the soil shall be rich with blood.

repeat

2002-03-05T01:05:41Z

A herd of lonely misguided attention needing peons, we all NEED to be
heard, even though we have nothing to say, this is a form of MADNESS which
is becoming a Net infestation.

Mom was at the bar..

2002-02-23T00:28:50Z

Wonder how that feels like.. being out clubbin, while your daughter is most likely being repeatedly raped, and then murdered.. possibly by a guy that saw you at the club..laughing and drinking.

http://www.comcast.net/smedia/associatedpress_2002_02_22_-----_0588-3269-Missing-Girl..html.

For Sybil

2002-02-22T21:47:05Z

We need a fresh arena..

Mystery..

2002-02-21T06:26:34Z

http://www.liquidgeneration.com/poptoons/britney_breasts.asp